Water from the moon
by Cindy aka SG1PhileShipper
Summary: Scully has been in love with Mulder for a long time, but feels like she's the only one in this situation.


By: Cindy Vandenplas  
Date: October 8th 1998  
Title: "Water From The Moon"  
  
  
Disclaimer: Well dah, I don't own anyone of the x-files gang. They belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the FOX Network. David and Gillian give them heart and soul. Please don't sue me, I'm just using them because I feel really depressed and I need to write. No infringement is intended.  
  
Rating: PG14 probably. Some mature language.  
  
Classification: S/A/R  
  
Spoilers: None.  
  
Summary: Scully has been in love with Mulder for a long time, but feels like she's the only one in this situation.  
  
Keywords: Depressed author= depressed Scully.  
  
And now the story....  
  
*************************************  
  
Water from the moon  
By cindyvandenplas@hotmail.com  
  
  
  
Scully was sitting in front of her flickering computer screen and was unable to concentrate. The only thing she could think about was Mulder. She had been in love with him for quite a while, but had never found the courage to tell him. And his latest actions had made her to rethink his feelings for her. She had thought that he had felt the same way, but he had been so rude that she doubted it. Sure, he had apologized, but the damage was done. Scully's heart had been broken in two. She had had her hopes so high that it was bound to happen some day. She didn't know how to keep going now.  
  
She sighed out loudly when she typed another mistake. She switched off her computer and sank in her chair. She closed her eyes and tried to let everything pass over her. Maybe she had to forget Mulder and start over again. But while she was working with him, that was difficult to so. And God knew she didn't want to quit her job. She loved her job even if she had to stay with Mulder forever. So there was no way of going forward or no way to go back. She was in a one-way road, and it did hurt a lot. For her there was only Mulder that existed and she was not interested in another guy. She knew she should go out more and try to forget him, but she couldn't see herself with anyone but him.  
  
She turned on the radio and let the music sink in. She loved the song. It reminded her so much of her feelings for Mulder. Céline Dion   
knew exactly how to express them:  
  
  
I've looked everywhere I can  
Just to find a clue  
Oh to get to you  
And make you want me  
And I've run circles 'round the sun  
Chasin' after you  
Oh but it's no use  
Can't you see that I'm going out of my mind  
Trying to find a way to get through to you  
Oh you don't know how hard I try  
And I try and I try  
What do I gotta do  
  
Do I gotta get water from the moon  
Is that what I gotta do  
To make you love me  
Do I gotta turn the sand into the sea  
Is that what you want from me  
I've done everything that I can do  
But get water from the moon  
  
I've reached high up in the sky  
Tryin' to steal the stars  
Oh to win your heart  
But even that's not enough  
And I've reached every book I know  
Just to find the words  
Oh to touch your world and get some love out of you  
I've already given all I can give  
And I don't know what's left to try  
And I try and I try  
What do I gotta do  
  
Do I gotta get water from the moon  
Is that what I gotta do  
To make you love me  
Make you love me  
Do I gotta turn the sand into the sea  
Is that what you want from me  
I've done everything that I can do  
But get water from the moon  
  
......  
  
The music softly faded away and Scully let herself fall on the couch. She stayed there for hours before she drifted away and was dreaming about Mulder.  
  
**************************************  
  
The Office   
The Next morning  
  
  
Scully was already in her chair staring at her computer screen when Mulder came into the office. Like every morning he greeted her joyfully:  
  
"Morning Scully."  
"Hi Mulder."  
"How are you?"  
"Fine I guess."  
"Right. You look like you haven't slept last night."  
"I haven't."  
"What's wrong? You don't look fine to me."  
"I'm fine, Mulder."  
"Cut the crap, Scully. If it's about yesterday, I'm sorry. I really am. I thought you knew I liked practical jokes."  
"Listen, Mulder. Not everything is about you. I have a life too and it's not because I didn't sleep last night you have to feel responsible. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself."  
"Scully I...."  
  
Scully got out of her chair and raced out of the office. Tears were running down her cheeks and she didn't want Mulder to see them. He was the last person who could see them. She didn't care about the rest of the agents.  
  
She left the building and went to the memorial monument to think about the situation. She had to do something about it, because she was really breaking down on it. The only thing she thought about was to end her life. She didn't want to feel all that pain anymore. She was tired of suffering. Tired of loving and not being loved. But she had to let Mulder know to die peacefully. She took out paper and pen and started writing:  
  
  
Dear Mulder,  
  
  
I didn't want to leave you, but I had no other choice. You made it very difficult for me in the last couple of months. I don't hold you personally responsible, but I can't on love you like this. Because yes Mulder, I do love you a lot. More than you can imagine and more than you'll ever know. I never knew that love could hurt so much. I can't stand it any longer. My life is a mess and I can't handle being around you no longer. You are the love of my life. No one could ever replace you. I am with you all day long and I'm the happiest person in the world. Then I come home and find myself alone. Then I long to feel your strong arms around. If you knew how much I wanted you to hug me yesterday and make all the pain disappear. I can't really express how you make me feel. You are everything I am looking for. You are everything I could ever love. You make my life beautiful and you also make me feel miserable. I guess that last feeling won the fight. I should have told you how I felt, but I was scared of being rejected. Why would you love me out of all the girls you know? They have so much to offer and there is nothing I can give you. I couldn't bear continue working with you if you didn't feel the same about me. That's why I have to leave you. Leaving you is hard, but loving you is even harder. And I can't go on anymore.  
  
Love you goodbye,  
  
Scully.  
  
  
Scully took one last look at the letter and folded it in four. She sighed and let the tears come out in floods. It felt good to cry one last time. She got up and left the letter on the bench. She was sure it would be handed to Mulder. She went to the nearest bridge and was getting ready to jump. She was about to do so, when she felt two strong hands around her waist. She was pulled close to the person and looked in hazel eyes. She followed Mulder's tears while they were streaming down his cheeks. She was also crying and their salted tears mixed. Finally Mulder spoke:  
  
"Don't ever do that again on me, Scully."  
"Leave me, Mulder."  
  
Mulder put his finger under Scully's chin:  
  
"You don't get it, do you? You haven't realized how much I love you. I have loved you for so long, Scully. I was afraid to tell you. I just couldn't and it hurted so much. And when you reacted like you did yesterday, I was hurt. Oh Scully......."  
  
Both were crying again and Mulder softly put his lips on Scully's. He could taste her tears and she could taste his. He gently explored her mouth and felt her shivering. He pulled away and held her close. Finally he broke away and looked her in the eyes:  
  
"No man deserves your life, Scully. Don't ever play that trick on me again."  
"Now that I have you, Mulder, you won't get rid of me that easy."  
  
With a content smile, Scully captured Mulder mouth and for the first time she felt like she was connected with him. She finally had found him.  
  
The End.  
  
*************************************  
  
The song "water from the moon" belongs to Céline Dion. No infringement is intended.  
  
Feedback welcome at cindyvandenplas@hotmail.com 


End file.
